Undoubtedly, children are the apple of our eyes, the joy of our hearts, and our real treasure of this world and the hereafter: for sure, they are one of the outstanding beauties of life:
الْمَالُ وَالْبَنُونَ زِينَةُ الْحَيَاةِ الدُّنْيَا… {الكهف: 46}
[Wealth and children are the adornment of this worldly life…] [Al-Kahf: 46].
Their being good and well-raised is definitely such an incomparable blessing, whereas their being bad or ill-raised is an irreparable loss!
Therefore, we need to pay great attention and care to our offspring, as they can be our true fortune, or our utmost regret. Yes, of course, they are our gifts from Allah Almighty, but, at the same time, they are meant to be a test to us, like all the blessings given, for which Allah holds us accountable:
إِنَّمَآ أَمْوَٰلُكُمْ وَأَوْلَـٰدُكُمْ فِتْنَةٌۭ ۚ وَٱللَّهُ عِندَهُۥٓ أَجْرٌ عَظِيمٌ [ التغابن: 15]
[Your wealth and children are only a test, but Allah ˹alone˺ has a great reward.] [At-Taghabun: 15].
So, in the following lines, let’s have a closer look at what Qur’an says about the child in Islam, how Islam commands us to treat children, and what rights to fulfill for them.
Table of Contents
Who Is the ‘Child’ in the Quran?
Childhood starts from the moment of birth, until reaching the age of puberty:
[وَإِذَا بَلَغَ الْأَطْفَالُ مِنْكُمُ الْحُلُمَ فَلْيَسْتَأْذِنُوا كَمَا اسْتَأْذَنَ الَّذِينَ مِنْ قَبْلِهِمْ … (النور:59)]
[And when your children reach the age of puberty, let them seek permission ˹to come in˺, as their seniors do…] [An-Nur: 59].
Three Stages of Childhood in The Quran:
There are three remarkable stages throughout the childhood-phase:
- Birth to 7 Years Old:
At that age, the child is still too young to be mindful enough, or consistent of doing the right and avoiding the wrong. He is still growing, and knowing about things around.
- 7 to 10 Years Old:
At that age, the child becomes more aware already, and attentive to differentiate between the good and bad, more clearly, so the parents should get him ready and trained to be responsible for his actions, and discipline him, whenever needed, so that he can develop a well-founded, good character.
That is why the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Command your children to perform Salat when they are seven years old, and hit them (harmlessly) for (not offering) it when they are ten, and do not let (boys and girls) sleep next to each other”.
- 10 Years Old to Puberty:
At that age, the child can have physical, hormonal, and psychological changes, becoming closer to the puberty phase. Here lies the importance of disciplining the child even before it, getting him already trained and familiar with the obedience acts, and the good deeds, so that it becomes easier for him to stand firmly that critical time, moving smoothly into the coming adulthood.
What Does the Quran Say About Children?
The Quran emphasizes that children are a blessing and a source of joy in life. Allah encourages believers to pray for righteous spouses and offspring who will bring happiness and serve as examples of piety. Islam stresses the importance of raising children with care, as they are a means of ongoing reward, as noted in the Hadith, where a righteous child’s prayers can benefit the parents after death.
Furthermore, the Quran outlines several rights for children, starting with the choice of a pious spouse to ensure a stable and loving family. It also prohibits the killing of children for fear of poverty and encourages parents to provide good names, proper breastfeeding, and just treatment. Islam advocates kindness, patience, and consistent guidance, emphasizing equality among siblings and the importance of allowing children to play, as part of their natural development. Ultimately, children are entrusted to parents, and fulfilling their rights is a sacred duty in Islam.
1. Child as a Blessing in the Quran:
As previously said, children are [the adornment of this worldly life]; without a doubt, they are such a treasured blessing, for which the believers hopefully invoke Allah:
وَٱلَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍۢ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا (الفرقان: 74)
[˹They are˺ those who pray, “Our Lord! Bless us with ˹pious˺ spouses and offspring who will be the joy of our hearts, and make us models for the righteous.] [Al-Furqan: 74].
وَزَكَرِيَّآ إِذْ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُۥ رَبِّ لَا تَذَرْنِى فَرْدًۭا وَأَنتَ خَيْرُ ٱلْوَٰرِثِينَ (الأنبياء: 89)
[And ˹remember˺ when Zakariah cried out to his Lord, “My Lord! Do not leave me childless, though You are the Best of Successors.] [Al-Anbya’: 89].
In Islam, by having a child, and doing the best to raise him/her well, you will be abundantly blessed, along with the child, in this world by Allah’s help and provision, and even in the hereafter:
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “He who is involved (responsible) of (raising) daughters, and he is benevolent towards them, they would become a shield for him against Hell-fire”. (Bukhari and Muslim).
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) also said, “When a person dies all his good deeds come to an end, except three (exceptions): Ongoing charity (Sadaqah Jariyah), beneficial knowledge, and a righteous son who prays for him.” (Sahih)
2. Choosing the Righteous Spouse to Marry:
In Islam, having a child must be a fruit of a legitimate form of commitment- marriage- to preserve the lineage and honor of every child coming to life.
Not only a marriage, but purposefully a good, healthy marriage should be sought by every Muslim, so that the child can be well-raised in a wholesome, loving, moral and stable family.
Therefore, Islam emphasizes on the significance of choosing only the pious, and righteous spouse, as it is the standard, to start a reliable family then:
﴿ الزَّانِي لَا يَنْكِحُ إلَّا زَانِيَةً أَوْ مُشْرِكَةً وَالزَّانِيَةُ لَا يَنْكِحُهَا إِلَّا زَانٍ أَوْ مُشْرِكٌ وَحُرِّمَ ذَلِكَ عَلَى الْمُؤْمِنِينَ ﴾ [النور: 3].
[A male fornicator would only marry a female fornicator or idolatress. And a female fornicator would only be married to a fornicator or idolater. This is ˹all˺ forbidden to the believers.] [An-Nur: 3].
﴿ وَأَنْكِحُوا الْأَيَامَى مِنْكُمْ وَالصَّالِحِينَ مِنْ عِبَادِكُمْ وَإِمَائِكُمْ إِنْ يَكُونُوا فُقَرَاءَ يُغْنِهِمُ اللَّهُ مِنْ فَضْلِهِ وَاللَّهُ وَاسِعٌ عَلِيمٌ ﴾ [الطور: 32
[Marry off the ˹free˺ singles among you, as well as the righteous of your bondmen and bondwomen. If they are poor, Allah will enrich them out of His bounty. For Allah is All-Bountiful, All-Knowing.] [At-Tur: 32].
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) commands us: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you (proposing for a lady under your care), then let him marry (her). If you do not do so, then there will be a temptation in the land and abounding discord.”
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “A woman is married for four qualities, for her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion: so get the religious one and prosper.”
3. Children Have the Right of Life:
Allah, alone, is The Life-Giver, and The Death-Giver. Muslims are divinely commanded to refrain from the nonsense and injustice of those killing their babies, whether in their wombs by intended abortions -‘just for not wanting kids’, or after their birth for unreasonable causes- like the daughters buried alive in the pre-Islamic period!
وَلَا تَقْتُلُوٓا۟ أَوْلَـٰدَكُمْ خَشْيَةَ إِمْلَـٰقٍۢ ۖ نَّحْنُ نَرْزُقُهُمْ وَإِيَّاكُمْ ۚ إِنَّ قَتْلَهُمْ كَانَ خِطْـًۭٔا كَبِيرًۭا (الإسراء: 31)
[Do not kill your children for fear of poverty. We provide for them and for you. Surely killing them is a heinous sin.] [Al-Israa: 31].
… ۖ وَلَا تَقْتُلُوا۟ ٱلنَّفْسَ ٱلَّتِى حَرَّمَ ٱللَّهُ إِلَّا بِٱلْحَقِّ ۚ… (الأنعام: 151)
[… Do not take a ˹human˺ life—made sacred by Allah—except with ˹legal˺ right…] [Al-An’am: 151].
4. Children Must Be Given a Good Name:
Everything in life has a name with a certain meaning and reference. Islam doesn’t overlook that; as a Muslim, you should select a beautiful, meaningful name to give your child, so that he can be honored with that good name, not a bad one that may expose him/her to be mocked.
فَلَمَّا وَضَعَتْهَا قَالَتْ رَبِّ إِنِّي وَضَعْتُهَا أُنْثَى وَاللَّهُ أَعْلَمُ بِمَا وَضَعَتْ وَلَيْسَ الذَّكَرُ كَالْأُنْثَى وَإِنِّي سَمَّيْتُهَا مَرْيَمَ وَإِنِّي أُعِيذُهَا بِكَ وَذُرِّيَّتَهَا مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ ﴾ [آل عمران: 35-36]
[When she delivered, she said, “My Lord! I have given birth to a girl,”—and Allah fully knew what she had delivered—“and the male is not like the female. I have named her Mary, and I seek Your protection for her and her offspring from Satan, the accursed.] [Al-Imran: 35-36].
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “On the Day of Resurrection you will be called by your names and by your father’s names, so give yourselves good names.”
5. Children Have the Right of Breastfeeding and Maintenance:
The breast-milk is a divine gift for the child at the start of his/her life. Nothing can be unique, nor nourishing enough to be equivalent to the breast-milk; it does keep the child growing healthy, and emotionally warm, in the arms of the mother, and both under the care and maintenance of the father:
﴿ وَالْوَالِدَاتُ يُرْضِعْنَ أَوْلَادَهُنَّ حَوْلَيْنِ كَامِلَيْنِ لِمَنْ أَرَادَ أَنْ يُتِمَّ الرَّضَاعَةَ وَعَلَى الْمَوْلُودِ لَهُ رِزْقُهُنَّ وَكِسْوَتُهُنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ لَا تُكَلَّفُ نَفْسٌ إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا … (البقرة: 233)
[The mothers will breastfeed their offspring for two whole years, for those who wish to complete the nursing ˹of their child˺. The child’s father will provide reasonable maintenance and clothing for the mother ˹during that period˺. No one will be charged with more than they can bear…] [Al-Baqara: 233].
6. Children Must Be Treated Kindly and Taught Patiently:
Islam is the religion of benevolence and morals, and Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) was actually sent down [as a mercy for the whole world.] Whoever reads Sirah (the Prophet’s Biography), finds how sweet, kind, patient, and close the Prophet was to the children.
Being kind and patient to the children help them growing up with respect, patience and goodness, and becoming benevolent persons, in turn.
Basically, as Muslims, we are commanded to refrain from repulsiveness, cruelty and rudeness, and to treat others patiently and gently, not to mention our children, for sure!
… وَلَوْ كُنْتَ فَظًّا غَلِيظَ الْقَلْبِ لَانْفَضُّوا مِنْ حَوْلِكَ … (آل عمران: 159)
[… Had you been cruel or hard-hearted, they would have certainly abandoned you…] [Al’-Imran: 159].
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: “You must be compassionate. Whenever there is compassion in something, it adorns it, and whenever it is removed from something it disgraces it.”
7. Child Must Be Advised Consistently:
As a parent, you find yourself entitled to keep giving good advice to your child, throughout the lifetime, in different situations. You can find such dear father-to-son advice in Surah Luqman in Qur’an; here are some of the ayahs:
وَإِذْ قَالَ لُقْمَـٰنُ لِٱبْنِهِۦ وَهُوَ يَعِظُهُۥ يَـٰبُنَىَّ لَا تُشْرِكْ بِٱللَّهِ ۖ إِنَّ ٱلشِّرْكَ لَظُلْمٌ عَظِيمٌۭ (لقمان: 13)
[And ˹remember˺ when Luqmân said to his son, while advising him, “O my dear son! Never associate ˹anything˺ with Allah ˹in worship˺, for associating ˹others with Him˺ is truly the worst of all wrongs.] [Luqman: 13].
يَـٰبُنَىَّ أَقِمِ ٱلصَّلَوٰةَ وَأْمُرْ بِٱلْمَعْرُوفِ وَٱنْهَ عَنِ ٱلْمُنكَرِ وَٱصْبِرْ عَلَىٰ مَآ أَصَابَكَ ۖ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ مِنْ عَزْمِ ٱلْأُمُورِ ١٧- وَلَا تُصَعِّرْ خَدَّكَ لِلنَّاسِ وَلَا تَمْشِ فِى ٱلْأَرْضِ مَرَحًا ۖ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍۢ فَخُورٍۢ ١٨- وَٱقْصِدْ فِى مَشْيِكَ وَٱغْضُضْ مِن صَوْتِكَ ۚ إِنَّ أَنكَرَ ٱلْأَصْوَٰتِ لَصَوْتُ ٱلْحَمِيرِ ١٩. (لقمان: 17-19)
[“O my dear son, establish prayer, encourage what is good and forbid what is evil, and endure patiently whatever befalls you. Surely this is a resolve to aspire to- And do not turn your nose up to people, nor walk arrogantly upon the earth. Surely Allah does not like whoever is arrogant, boastful- Be moderate in your pace. And lower your voice, for the ugliest of all voices is certainly the braying of donkeys.] [Luqman: 17-19].
8. Children Must Be Treated Justly, and Equally to the Siblings:
Justice is the backbone of Islam, so justice and equality should be consistently fulfilled while raising the child. In Qur’an, in the story of Prophet Yusuf, Allah shows us how preferring a child, or two, over the other siblings caused the hatred, jealousy and envy among them:
﴿ لَقَدْ كَانَ فِي يُوسُفَ وَإِخْوَتِهِ آَيَاتٌ لِلسَّائِلِينَ إِذْ قَالُوا لَيُوسُفُ وَأَخُوهُ أَحَبُّ إِلَى أَبِينَا مِنَّا وَنَحْنُ عُصْبَةٌ إِنَّ أَبَانَا لَفِي ضَلَالٍ مُبِينٍ * اقْتُلُوا يُوسُفَ أَوِ اطْرَحُوهُ أَرْضًا يَخْلُ لَكُمْ وَجْهُ أَبِيكُمْ وَتَكُونُوا مِنْ بَعْدِهِ قَوْمًا صَالِحِينَ ﴾ [يوسف: 7-9].
[Indeed, in the story of Yusuf and his brothers, there are lessons for all who ask.- ˹Remember˺ when they said ˹to one another˺, “Surely Yusuf and his brother ˹Benyamen˺ are more beloved to our father than we, even though we are a group of so many. Indeed, our father is clearly mistaken.- Kill Joseph or cast him out to some ˹distant˺ land so that our father’s attention will be only ours, then after that you may ˹repent and˺ become righteous people” (Yusuf: 7-9).
Also, as Muslims, we are commanded not to discriminate or prefer a son, over a daughter, for example, like that hideous habit in the ignorant pre-Islamic time; in Islam, every child is a gift:
لِّلَّهِ مُلْكُ ٱلسَّمَـٰوَٰتِ وَٱلْأَرْضِ ۚ يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَآءُ ۚ يَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَآءُ إِنَـٰثًۭا وَيَهَبُ لِمَن يَشَآءُ ٱلذُّكُورَ (الشورى: ٤٩)
[To Allah ˹alone˺ belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates whatever He wills. He blesses whoever He wills with daughters, and blesses whoever He wills with sons] [Ash-Shura: 49].
The Prophet (ﷺ) recommends us to avoid the sibling-discrimination, and its destroying consequences: “Fear Allah and treat your children equally.”
10. Children Have the Right to Play:
As significantly as the child has the right to be disciplined, he/ she has the right to play, too! Playing is essential in childhood, as it is the gateway to discover life, and to communicate with the universe, especially in the first, early years.
Again, in the story of Prophet Yusuf, playing was the only reason that would let Yaqoob allow Yusuf’s siblings to take him away, as playing is always answered “yes, go”:
أَرْسِلْهُ مَعَنَا غَدًۭا يَرْتَعْ وَيَلْعَبْ وَإِنَّا لَهُۥ لَحَـٰفِظُونَ … (يوسف: 12)
[… Send him out with us tomorrow so that he may enjoy himself and play. And we will really watch over him…] [Yusuf: 12].
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Conclusion:
What is previously mentioned is just a hint at the children as a precious blessing which we should be really grateful and careful for, by fulfilling their rights.
Children are like a trust that Allah gives us, and we are commanded to keep it safe. We ask Allah to help us with such great responsibility, and to guide us and them to what He is pleased with.
